Light at the end of the Tunnel

Tears stream down her face,
It's cold, damp, dark outside.
Waiting silently for the pain to ease,
the judgment to end, the condemnation to stop,
the love to begin, the gentle comfort offered and found only in the one from which she was birthed.

Pain, pain, tears, CRY!
Alone! Alone! Dark, DIE!
She pushes the thoughts and they push her back,
She pushes the thoughts and they push her back....

A fight, a flight, a boat or train,
any means of transport to take her away from this plane.
To death she went with open arms hoping for acceptance just this once,
but like a 'man' he refused her love, wanting it only when she was unwilling,
the thrill, the chase, the conquer was lost and so she sulked and screamed and coughed,
making wishes along with hisses of 'I need you not'

She begged for strength, she pleaded for peace,
a light so bright she hoped to see,
eyes closed then opened but still black was all she could see,
Pain, pain, tears, CRY!
Alone! Alone! Dark, DIE!

Peace be still and then it was,
the angel appeared, filled with love
a warm embrace that saved a life,
a life on the edge of fragility...

Broken

A deep breath in and a calming thought (x100)
Did it work for you or are you still on that edge,
looking over with amazement at how tiny they all seem
at this birds' eye view...
"jump! Jump! Jump!jump!" my thoughts rage on and that stupid little voice eggs me to do it,
FUCK! The air rushes pass as I propel toward the hard earth below
faster! faster! faster! FREEZE!!!!!

A deep breath in and a calming thought (x100)
Out-ER body experience,
A simple minded bystander in a fast paced world,
Frozen in time on the way to a death that I've died a million times,
dying it once again but this time in an Out-ER body experience
Can I ever heal, can I ever let go truly or is it really dying this death that will allow me to be free!
Shivering, shaking, heart beat accelerating, speeding past the trees as I...
Rush toward the ground!
faster! faster! faster, no freezing, no, not this time!
A blink of the eye and SPLAT!!
The death, I had died a thousand times,
Did I feel it? Did it work??

A deep breath in and a calming thought, this time just one,
I'm dead, no pain, no life, no exhaling to inhale to exhale again,
no hoping, no praying, no waiting or wondering
good bye to you, good bye to life, good bye to pains of immense proportions.

The End.

Big Bad Wolf

Yeah, Yeah, I know its cliche`! But oh so true.

He came in, no waltzed in as though he belonged a cocky air about him. Made his opening statements before the court, of which he is the Judge, Juror, Chief Executioner and of course, the Prosecutor . First question posed to the defendant 'when will you be coming home'? Poor Defendant, stressed and tired replied 'I told you already, I do not know'.

No satisfaction gained from the response of the Defendant, anger arose in his voice as he spoke lies, I mean as he spoke with a straight face and eyes filled with hatred. 'That doesn't work, you either say now or you pack up and leave forever'

So he huffed and he puffed and tried to blow her house down!
True to myself and true to my cause, I stood toe to toe with the demon, the monster, this BIG BAD WOLF...'NO'!!!!! No entry to be gained, no window to fall, no doors to be opened except the one I use to shut you out.

Yet he huffed and he puffed and tried again to blow her house down!
True to myself and to my cause, I stood toe to toe, shoulder to chest, head to neck with the demon, the monster, this BIG BAD WOLF... again the NO resounded from the deepest depths of my loins to the highest pitch a soprano can make. No entry to be gained, no window to fall, no doors to be opened except the one I use to shut you out!!!

Yet again he began to huff and on the second breath in I hit my head against his neck! The demon, the monster, this BIG BAD WOLF! Silence... So loud my thoughts could be heard...He wasn't dead, no he was merely surprised, merely bruised.

Toe to toe, shoulder to chest, head to neck and again I hit him in his stunned silence. No loud voice, no more huffing, only the gasping for breath through a collapsing oesophagus, disbelief evident in his eyes which quickly turns to anger, rage, a fire arose in his eyes but surely I thought to myself his demise is here.

He huffed and he puffed and he ran away, living to fight another day...

Remembering you in MY own way

Yesterday I cried for a soul lost in the darkest depths of hell,

Or so it's viewed by so many.

How could you walk away from life,

From US...that's us not US(A) hahaha lame attempt at a joke

Trying to mask the pain as I write...no, type.

Where are you? Where have you gone?

And pray tell, Why did you go?

So I cried and cried and yes, I cried some more,

Squeezing my eyelids shut so tight that all I see are iridescent colours.

Where are you? Where have you gone?

And pray tell, Why did you go?

You left a void that cannot be filled

But memories so vivid and in living colour.

Your soul to me, in the brightest place

As Imam said 'many long to die in the holy period'

The Salat al-Janazah could not have sounded sweeter,

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar

Grief lifted and hope set in that the Most High had forgiven sins and accepted His child.

I am happy because you would have been happy,

I smile because i still see your smile.

I laugh because in my heart I hear your voice and feel your touch.

Your soul to me, in the brightest place.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raij'un ( We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return)

Allahu Abkar

R.I.P Bro <3

The Beginning

So my friend sent me the link to her friends' blog and my response was 'no thanks' (shame on me)
Two days later another link, this time to her blog and my response this time ' I don't do blogs'.
One day later here I am on my very account writing this blog and thinking to myself 'omg, this is crazy' (really...double shame on me ha!).

So to all that may eventually follow my blog or pass through on the recommendation of a friend, don't bash it because you are close minded, afraid or just too lazy to read.

Welcome to the mind and heart of TJ!